Illegally streaming movies in the dorm rooms just got a whole lot harder.

Wi-Fi internet is going to be disabled campus-wide due to recent budget cuts. The annual budget plan was announced on March 28 by Chancellor Dennis Shields.

“With this new round of cuts we had to make some more difficult choices. It was either get rid of Wi-Fi or cut all womens’ sports,” Shields said.

After three weeks of meetings and deliberation, the decision was made to cut Wi-Fi. This decision was not popular with students because it means that internet will only be available on campus computers.

“How am I supposed to download movies and watch porn?” Senior undecided major Walter Perv said.

Perv listed his favorite pornos that he will no longer be able to watch.

“This budget cut affects everyone. How are people supposed to spend their free time? There’s no way I’m going to the Bears Den to watch A Series of Unfortunate Positions?” Perv said.

This cut has caused a high demand for computers across campus. With this, another change has come about: once a student signs into a computer, they will only be logged in for an hour. After that hour expires they will automatically be logged out and if he/she wants to log in again it will cost $1 per additional hour.

“I hate this. How am I supposed to get my homework done? Every time I try to get on a computer, they are all full and there are people waiting. This is ridiculous. If I can’t keep up my 4.0 GPA. I’m going to transfer to UW-Whitewater. I’d rather risk the mumps,” freshman chemistry major Ashley Goodie-Twoshoes said.

The computer deficit has caused the library to actually be full most of the time and an hour-long waiting list is in place in order to get into the Bears Den.

A plan to have students make reservations for computers is being discussed, as well as building a new computer lab in the basement of the recently renamed Trump Tower.

Not everyone is upset about the change, however. Seventh year senior biology major Max Stoener said he prefers the outdoors to sitting in front of a computer.

“Me and my crew would rather go to the top of the M and chill up there for hours, than to try to get onto computers in any of the labs. We appreciate nature and the blue sky and the golden sunshine,” Stoener said.