Miami Heat star forward LeBron James took an unexpected detour through Platteville Monday.  James stopped on his way to Milwaukee on his “I’m LeBron, Please Love Me Tour,” also known as the NBA regular season.

James quietly strolled through University of Wisconsin-Platteville campus, well, as quietly as a 6-foot-8 balding black man can stroll through the campus, taking in the sights and sounds of UW-Platteville such as camouflage jackets and talks of dairy cows.

When news spread via social media sites that James was on campus, professors halted lectures, labs and discussions so students could catch a glimpse of the international superstar.

James shook hands, took pictures, signed autographs, ate lunch, folded laundry, ran errands, gave away money, washed feet, shined shoes and took out the garbage for students for six hours in the Markee Pioneer Student Center and at residence halls across campus.

However, most of those students still felt that retired Hall-of-Famer Michael Jordan would have done better.

“Man, LeBron is cool and all for folding my underwear,” sophomore civil engineering major Dylan Haterson said.  “But, Jordan? Michael freakin’ Jordan?  He would’ve paid off my tuition and the rent for my house, cause he’s the greatest.”

Haterson’s feelings were echoed by UW-Platteville Chancellor Dennis Sheilds.

“Mr. James’ appearance on campus was cute, and it will probably help us raise those enrollment numbers, which is all I really care about, but Michael Jordan would have done it much better,” Shields said.

When asked what more James could have done at UW-Platteville, Shields answered, “Well he could have had some more championship rings so he could have given them away, too.  But like those 2007 Finals against the Spurs and Game 5 against Celtics in 2010, he just doesn’t come through.”

When asked about his time in Platteville and the subsequent Jordan-talk, a visibly annoyed James said, “Holy mother of god, what the —- more can I do to please these sons of ——-.”