Commencement for the Spring 2015 semester is cancelled. Budgetary cuts are not listed as the cause.
After weeks of discussion amongst students, faculty, staff and administration during the Fall 2014 semester about changing this semester’s commencement ceremony from one day with three ceremonies to two days with four ceremonies, commencement has been cancelled altogether. An exact reason is not being given, but unconfirmed rumors abound.
Public information officer Paul Erickson referred all questions to Chancellor Dennis Shields, who, in turn, referred inquiries to Provost and Vice Chancellor for Academic Affairs Mittie Den Herder. Den Herder gave a brief response before bringing in Vice Chancellor for Administrative Services Robert Cramer to further complicate the already complex story.
“Honestly, I was just told that we have to cancel Commencement. I doubt that it has anything to do with the budget, because every other four-year UW-System school is still having their respective ceremonies,” said Den Herder.
Cramer was barely able to clear any of the murk.
“In addition, the current proposed cuts are just that: proposed,” Cramer explained. “I was told, by a person who I am not at liberty to name, that our university was not to hold any type of a commencement or graduation ceremony. Instead, we are mailing those who would be graduating their diplomas.”
Information came to light several days later, through a university source using the pseudonym “Cavernous Gullet,” that specified details regarding the cancellation.
“The university has banned the ceremony due to rampant rumors of juvenile prank-type threats being written on bathroom stalls in over three-quarters of the buildings on campus,” Cavernous Gullet wrote. “The administration has barred Commencement from happening out of fear for egg on its collective face, literally.”