As enrollment rates continue to increase, the University of Wisconsin-Platteville will introduce another major, hosted by the Chemistry Department in the College of Engineering, Mathematics and Science.

The new major, Chemical Synthesis, has been developed and had its curriculum approved in record time, less than one week.

Former Vice-Chancellor Palpatine spearheaded the program until he was selected to fill the vacancy left by Chancellor Shields during his sabbatical. In his first act as Chancellor, Palpatine instituted Chemical Synthesis effective as of Oct. 31 at 11:59 p.m. CST.

Courses in the Chemical Synthesis major include Marketing 0666,  Sales 0420, General Chemistry 1140, General Chemistry 1240, Crystal Structures 2222, Coca Plants 2500 and Methamphetamine Synthesis 4545.

Professor White, an esteemed Nobel Laureate chemist, will be the program chair.

Other professors including the infamous Dr. Pinkman, Dr. Redlady, and Dr. Whitechild have been hired to instruct classes.

The first of the horde of students rushing to file for a change of majors was freshman Ana Kinn. Kinn says she learned of the then possible new program through a friend in the Wisconsin State Senate.

“Since I heard, I’ve been excited! I can’t wait to have real value in the world. And of course, being able to make thousands of dollars a week by synthesizing this stuff is gonna be crazy awesome,” Kinn said.

Within 15 minutes of the campus’ mass email announcement being sent, a group of 25 brown, hooded robe-wearing persons waving blue and green glow sticks began protesting outside of the Pioneer Student Center.

Campus Police were called and groups of Tornado Troopers were dispatched. The protesters were detained and now wait to be questioned in an undisclosed location.

Chancellor Palpatine had a very simple message to students debating switching into this new major: “Do it.”