In a shocking turn of events that has left Antagonist readers reeling, Idiot-in-Chief Warren Peace has been fired from his position after he was caught promoting his OnlyFans content in recent editions of the newspaper.
Peace, desperate for funding due to a lack of ads, decided to take matters into his own hands by inserting explicit images of himself into the newspaper in hopes of bringing in more money. “We ran out of funds to cover our banana pudding supply; how am I supposed to do page layout without my pudding? This is unbelievable,” Peace stated as he was kicked from the office.
Each Tuesday night, after the Antagonist staff concluded their production, Peace would allegedly sneak back into the office to paste his OnlyFans content all over page seven. Sources say he had developed a methodical routine, complete with a trench coat and cool sunglasses, as if he were some kind of covert operative in the world of college journalism.
Antagonist Advisor Doctor Icecream was less than amused when he heard the news. “Honestly, I thought it was a prank at first,” Gelato said, shaking his head in disbelief. “I mean, who uses a campus newspaper as their personal billboard? This is not how we intended to reach ‘new audiences.’”
As rumors of Peace’s dismissal spread through campus, students responded with a mix of horror and intrigue. “I’m not saying I subscribed, but I did hear he had some… interesting takes on modern art,” said sophomore Artie Choke. “I mean, if you’re gonna be controversial, at least do it with flair!”
Peace has taken to social media to rally support, launching a hashtag campaign: #FreeWarren, claiming he was simply “pushing the boundaries of modern journalism.” He even proposed a sit-in at the Markee West Lawn, where he planned to give live readings from his OnlyFans content, accompanied by interpretive dance.
Peace is also reportedly considering launching a new venture: a podcast called “Naked Ambition,” where he will discuss the future of student media, self-promotion and the “art of revealing more than just the news.”
