Abigail Shimniok

UW-Platteville’s Dean of Students Office hosted their “Sex in the Dark” event in Velzy Commons on Feb. 22. Students had the opportunity to anonymously ask experts at the panel questions about consent, relationships and safe sex by scanning a QR code at the event and submitting their queries.
The panelists included Annie Steffen (she/her/fae/femme/faer), UW-Platteville’s coordinator for the Doyle Center, Terri Fugate (she/her), a SANE nurse at Southwest Health and Jennie Hilleren, Ph.D. (she/her), a family and sex therapist.
The discussion began with questioning whether “bigger is better.” The consensus from the panelists was, “absolutely not.” They explained that the body’s most important organs during sex are the skin and the brain. Both penis and vaginal size absolutely does not matter, especially when considering that not all sex is penetrative sex.
The need to normalize masturbation was another topic of conversation. Dr. Hilleren stated that “masturbation addiction” is not recognized as a true addiction in the DSM-5. She said that masturbation is a completely normal process and is completely healthy if it does not interfere with daily life.
She emphasized that the stigma surrounding masturbation often stems from societal taboos and misconceptions rather than scientific evidence.
The panelists also compared male and female pleasure and the importance of communication and consent. Dr. Hilleren explained that the clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings while the tip of the penis only has 4,000.
Because there is such a large difference in sensitivity, it is important that sexual partners say exactly what they like and give explicit consent. Even in same-sex relationships, every single person differs in what they enjoy because everyone’s bodies are different. This also related back to the topic of masturbation because the best way to explore what is enjoyable is to figure it out on your own.
Other themes included rape culture. It was discussed amongst the panelists that sexual assault is extremely common, with some data suggesting it happens to 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men. Fugate is a nurse that examines and gathers evidence for sexual assault victims. She stated that, in her experience, anybody can be sexually assaulted, regardless of gender or sexual identity.
Steffen offered some valuable information and advice on the topic of kink towards the end of the panel. She discussed the importance of communication, consent and trust within kink communities, emphasizing the need for understanding boundaries and exploring desires safely and respectfully. She stated that doing your own research is important and to put safety above all else when engaging in kink.
For more information about sex and healthy relationships, contact UW-Platteville Counseling Services at [email protected] or in Royce Hall, room 220.