I told you I was a professional liar
In a rare moment of honesty for me
And you don’t believe me
And to be fair, why would you

The thing is that of course, you wouldn’t believe me
You have caught me in a few lies
And seen through me several times
But that is the thing

As a professional liar, you want to be caught on the small things
It makes people believe that you could never lie to them
So you can lie to them about big things
Or anything, really

Like “No, I don’t know what happened here”
“I swear I turned that in”
“This is fine”
“I am fine”