The University of Wisconsin-Platteville has had a very exciting and busy year. With students being the busiest and noisiest the campus has ever seen before, congregating spaces have become an issue.

“It’s very intimidating to walk around campus and not be ‘in the know.’ That’s why I have to have at least eight people sit with me during lunch,” sophomore bicycling major Jessica Myers said.

In the midst of the campus turning into ‘generation Paris Hilton,’ the student center has become a hostile takeover. Anyone who is “in the know” and associated with the movers and shakers, which involves the Greeks and anyone who knows a Greek, are found in the Pioneer Involvement Center. This high demand hang-out spot is where you can catch meaningful conversations from Theta Apple Pie, or the Ladies in Pink. Just being a spectator of the self-made popular lunch table allows spectators to be more informed about the world. When you walk out of the PIC, you leave a more cultured person.

“We are so, like, diverse. I talked to someone from Mount Horeb yesterday, and I could see the difference, being that I’m from Platteville,” freshman golfing major Danni J Glover said.

Historically, the PIC catered to all student organizations. Student organizations such as Black Student Union, Hmong Club and The Alliance all gather at this center. Since the remodel, there has been only one claim on the center.

The PIC oozes the university’s social importance and sets the standard high for students who need to be noticed on campus.

“Although this place is just for us to think about what parties and events to plan, we don’t mind if they study for exams in here,” senior underwater basket weaving major Gracie Jenkins said.

“Yeah, you have some people who just focuses on their books and don’t care about the real college experience, but we accept everyone in here,” freshman biology major Mae Cleo said.

“We don’t even have time to be superficial. I’m always in the PIC with my friends talking,” junior psychology major Annabelle Winters said.

While others have deemed the PIC to be filled with chair stealers and computer hogs, these people find it to be a safe place to discuss their weekends and Starbucks’ new mocha flavors.

*Thank you for reading the Exponent’s “Antagonist” issue. This article is satirical and none of the information in this article should be considered factual.