MOONS HAUNTED: Scary ghost monsters on moon

Ghosts are coming from the moon - this is not a drill, the Dementors are real!!!!!!!

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Throughout the spookiest month of the year, paranormal activity has seen a steady increase with many reporting disturbances each night. However, people need not fear for much longer, as the source of the hauntings has been determined: the Moon. According to recent NASA reports, specters have appeared on the lunar surface. Many of them have gathered in the darker spots of the moon, only moving once they have a clear line to Earth each night.

“Ghosts are coming from the moon. Naturally, the only appropriate response is to either invade or destroy the moon,” Senior Paranormal Detective Roger Davis said during a press conference.

This has sparked debate among astronomers and military officials. The latter cites the people’s safety as a legitimate excuse to invade the otherwise neutral celestial body. The former, of course, counters this claim by emphasizing the importance of respecting lunar neutrality and points out that the destruction of the moon would completely ruin the tidal system on Earth. Currently, both sides have agreed to allow scouts to investigate and possibly sue for peace with the specters.

Early scouting suggests, however, that the plague is thorough and will require more than words to fix. The full extent of the specters’ infestation was first discovered after a chance visit to the moon by astronaut Skyes Faulling just before the scouting compromise was reached.

“Moon’s haunted,” Faulling said shortly after returning to Earth. He declined any further comment, opting to borrow a firearm and get back in his ship for a return visit.

Faulling will likely be supported by a handful of other volunteers in an effort to have the moon cleaned up by Christmas. As many are aware, failing to do so could escalate the war between Halloween and Christmas, as this would be a clear violation of the Thanksgiving Armistice, signed only a few short decades ago.

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