Pioneer Pete gets a tan

S.M. Tan, [email protected]

The University of Wisconsin-Platteville’s beloved mascot has finally gotten some sun. Pete was seen leaving the newest tanning salon for UW mascots. While he was there, it was reported that UW-Whitewater’s Willie Warhawk was also in attendance as he was trying to tan his beak.

“Winter is coming sooner than later, and frankly I’m sick of blending in with the snow,” Pete said in an exclusive interview with the Antagonist.

Many of the other schools’ mascots have been saying the timing of this ridiculous story seems off. However, Pete’s tan doesn’t seem to affect UW-Milwaukee’s Pounce the Panther.

“Why does this matter so much? It’s football season! The only thing Pete should be worried about, rather than his appearance, is how Milwaukee is going to kick Platteville’s butt,” Pounce said.  After the Antagonist’s short interview was conducted with Pounce, he was seen hacking up a hairball at UW-Milwaukee’s last soccer game because they were losing so badly.

We spoke more with Pete about how news of his new complexion was affecting the other UW Mascots.

“I honestly think Pounce is just jealous, he obviously can’t tan. He’s just a big black cat,” he said in his response to the negativity. “Honestly it’s just a new year, new me. When I feel better about myself, it usually affects how well the team plays. I’m happier and the team feeds off my positive energy and it shows on the field.”

Pioneer Pete’s distant cousin from Purdue University, Purdue Pete, doesn’t appreciate what his family member is doing.

“My cousin is just trying to look more like me. Since we have the same name, there has always been a rivalry between us, especially since we’re both mascots,” Purdue Pete said. He wanted us to let you know you can follow him on his twitter at @TheRealPUPete. There you can find him onstage with Waka Flocka and being “more successful than his cousin” (his words, not ours).

UW-Stout’s Blaze the Blue Devil believes that Pioneer Pete doesn’t do anything serious and that he can just burn his skin in one of the tanning beds.

In response Pete said, “I’m sorry that guy is literally the devil and I’m the crazy one?”