Bozo the Clown to run the show

King of the Monkeez

November 11, 2014

The university has hired its first Ring Master. After an international search and consulting with consultants, this new, desperately needed position will be filled by Bozo the Clown. Chancellor-Lord Shields, in his first on-campus...

Workers throw rager at MPSC

Tits McGee, Antagonist

October 31, 2013

Several witnesses observed loud and obnoxious noise coming from the Pioneer Crossing of the Markee Pioneer Student Center at 11 p.m. Saturday Oct. 27. The incident occurred on a night when much of the University of Wisconsin-Platteville...

Column: Are squirrels friend or foe?

Big Poppa Pumb, Antagonist

October 31, 2013

Many of you may have noticed that the squirrels on this campus are quite friendly, perhaps too friendly.  These fuzzy critters are adorable with their attempts to gain snacks and friendship from unsuspecting students.  Many...

Actual murder in crime scene house used for annual demonstration

Ann Thrax, Antagonist

October 31, 2013

An 18-year-old prospective freshman student’s body was found by Campus Police Saturday, murdered in the crime scene house located at Pioneer Farm. The student, whose identity has not been released, is believed to have been...

St. Joe Kluever

St. Joe Kluever

October 31, 2013

The student news site of University of Wisconsin-Platteville.